What were once, undoubtedly, giant ponderosas.
F
Sat.14th. 1:18 a.m.
The jaunt triggered a vengeful bout of angina.
Awakened at 12:30 a.m. by a meds reminder, the "exertion" of rolling over to get the pills & water triggered it. Tucking a sub-lingual nitro into position, I added an extra half a tab of isosorbide which, unfortunately, takes at LEAST 20 minutes to have any effect.
15 minutes having elapsed and the 1st nitro having had no effect, I took another and chased it with a quarter tab of dilaudid. Also known as hydromorphone, along w this front-line opioid's desensitizing effects comes a strong need for a counter-balance to its constipating effect. I try and minimize its usage.
By the 3rd nitro the pain now included my whole upper body including my teeth, neck and arms. As motor function begins to wane, getting the child-proof cap off the liquid morphine has me wondering how many have died in pain in the interests of saving a child? Pain makes me selfish.
Liquid morphine is a mixed blessing. It works quickly but it instantaneously causes intense nausea. Getting some down while trying to keep from throwing up shifts the mindset toward using the MAID. In the meantime I take on a couple of tongue-dissolving ondensetrons, an anti-nausea.
It worked though, and as with the part after the thunderstorm in Grofe's Grand Canyon Suite, it wasn't too long before I drifted off into opioid vignettes and sleep.
That was last night. Tonight I took some dilaudid that I hope was/is preemptive. So far, so good.
You tricked me! IFrom the title I thought this was going to be about you getting a fresh fent-patch and taking a walk.
ReplyDeleteIf people would just stop having kids we wouldn't be losing all the good spots!
You've anticipated my next bumper sticker: Make A Diff...get a vasectomy.
DeleteSounds like last night was tough. Hope you are feeling better today. No judgments from me. You have fought the battle.
ReplyDeleteJohn,
DeleteToday went better. The nice thing about hospice is freedom to experiment. I upped the isosorbide and didn't need the dilaudid. These humps in the road rattle the cage though.
I see it's nearing 100 by the end of the week over your way. R u getting ready to blast off?
Two more sets of guests still coming. We won't be able to really get away until mid to late April. We will go camping at elevation in Arizona soon though between the guests.
DeleteNo judgement from me, either, but truthfully, it sounds like a part of you is enjoying a part of this genre of pain drama + pharmacology + journalism. Thought experiment would be something like this: IF we weren't here to read your pain journal, would you continue on the path/methods you are currently subscribed to?
ReplyDeleteAnon,
DeleteI don't do thought experiments. If I want to masturbate, I masturbate.
This is a blog, a web log. It replaces my short-term memory. You flatter yourself.
The child-proof cap, a stumbling block in MAIL intended to delay MAID, is a pain. On a table next to me is a prescription bottle from my small home store, Sander's Drug, containing drugs for my grandmother from 1951. There is no description of what the drug was, how to take it or instructions to re-order, etc. The cap pops off easily with the thumb. My hearing aid batteries come in a child-proof package. The world may not need children who eat batteries and really...they're small and would come out. A scissors is needed to open the package. Most often the batteries die far from a scissors. My pocketknife takes over. Two are carried. One for general purposes and needs sharpening every week. The other is only used to open the hearing aid package. Opening the package with a sharp knife will inevitably require stitches and or cause digit nerve damage. The instructions for MAIL specifically direct one to repackage drugs into simple-open containers, color coded, unique size/ship and perhaps with Braille identification. Noticing your efforts at the stock market and certain inclinations you might start a small business with containers identified with a unique vibration and certainly pop-open when squeezed.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! Let's do it! It can't be any worse than the stock market. My new Phonaks are great! And they're rechargeable. $1,800.00 though. After trying three over-the-counters w no luck, I bit the bullet.
DeleteLoved my Phonaks. Have Oticon devices now which I despise slightly. Recharging seemed lame so I stuck with batteries which is lame in another sense.
DeleteDespise slightly? Por que? I was under the impression Oticon set the bar. Why'd recharging seem lam?
Delete