Then, last year sometime, out of the blue came the urge to contact her. Over the months it evolved into a regular correspondence.
After graduating from college with a degree in chemistry, Mary Katherine married her high school biology teacher. For the next several decades she taught chemistry two doors away from her husband. Rayburn died this past December 25th at age 94. M.K. just turned 67.
In a rare moment of sharing, I'm posting this letter to show her wonderful response to my description of the angina wrangle a few days ago. No gratuitous sympathy, no accusations of attempts to solicit obsequious condolences, just a heartfelt, pragmatic expression of "Wouldn't it be great to die looking at the sky?!" and a kind aside hoping I'm doing better. A true friend!
An amazing artist, she has done scrimshaw and paints in pastels.
Pastel
I am glad to hear from you Michael! I think, yes, things are going about as well as could be expected.
It is indeed strangely warm, then cold again, and now the wind is coming. Wood cutter Carl also mows grass as the season changes and I had him do another day of mowing because wildfire is one of my anxieties.(strangely, water leaks are another) He also cut down two trees that died; a pinyon below the porch and a Ponderosa pine. The Ponderosa was one of the first trees Rayburn and I planted. We got it from NM state forestry which sells trees for windbreaks. I should say it is seedlings that they sell. They are the size of pencils. I don't know why this Ponderosa died. I watered it, unlike the Pinyon. But there is an Arizona Cypress that we also planted, also from NM Forestry, that grew up behind it that is doing fine and is also doing the job of screening the house from the road so I feel the loss less.
The 24 year old Toyota Tacoma needs a new starter. And when I drive it, there is a burning smell. This makes me worry about driving it to the mechanic so I'm having it (and me) towed in to T or C and the mechanic on Monday. I've rented a car to come home in and will go back to get it when repairs are done. (just $$$. sigh) This episode has convinced me that the Tacoma needs to live closer to a town where a mechanic is, so my plan is to sell it when the new vehicle, a Ford Bronco, is delivered. I know that is big news for me too! I really wanted a new Toyota, but their trucks are too big now and the models that aren't too big have very little ground clearance. I also know this current Toyota has many miles left, but it is also the age where things will start going wrong. Fixable things, but out here even those are just an extraordinary ordeal. I don't think the Bronco will last as long but maybe whatever comes after it will get better fuel economy- maybe even be electric. Anyway, I have ordered the Bronco and it should be in by mid summer.
I also am doing garden stuff. I ordered some corn seeds too.It has been a while since I grew corn. But I really like fresh corn on the cob so I sprang for the DNA tinkered variety that is very sweet but also lasts in the fridge. I'm only going to plant one bed of it; 4 ft by 8 ft. I've also ordered some Asian pear trees because they are so tasty. How they will do in my garden is yet to be seen. I have one that is doing OK. But a second that I got for pollination died. I'm also replacing some grape vines that died. I don't know the reason why for that either. Grapes are the only reliable fruit producer up here. The plum trees are budding out right now. Rayburn used to say plum rhymes with dumb because they bloom too early! The apricot tree is budding out too. In 36 years that apricot has never produced a single fruit. But strangely, there have been years with plums. One of the plums in blossom is the most glorious tree I have. Here's a photo from a previous year. Peak bloom is yet to be seen this year, but it already abuzz with bees:
The gang of deer are still marauding the greenery. But I can't attach the motion activated sprinkler until night time temperatures aren't freezing anymore.
I went to the social security office in Las Cruces this week. Previously, when I called in January which the mortuary told me to do, they told me I could just go without an appointment. I waited 4 hours and had to bail. A 9 hour day is a long time for the dogs to wait. When I called back, I learned that that office had just started taking appointments so I got one but not for over two months later so it wasn't until last Thursday. I was fully prepared to wait again. But the appointment was in the afternoon so I thought surely they would see me before closing time. When I got there, the parking lot was so empty, I thought it was closed. But no, I walked right in and before I sat down, they took me. I was out in less than 5 minutes. A miracle!
I don't know why I needed to go. They already knew Rayburn had died- they clawed back his last pension payment and had figured out what my widow benefit is and have started direct depositing it. But they took the death certificate anyway. The only thing I have left of all the extricating of Rayburn's name from our life together is to apply for the veteran's widow property tax break. I now have the form from veteran's services and just need to get it to the county.
It is starting to be less shocking to see the chair Rayburn lived in for the last 3 years of his life empty when I go by it. But sometimes, I just go sit in it myself. I have been dreaming about him. These are casual dreams, not momentous reuniting, just everyday life things. But in them, he can walk. In the dreams, this is just ordinary. But when I wake up, I find myself happy remembering.
I'm really happy you can walk. You have a really nice path to do it too! Even if you feel bad after. Surely that is worth it! I've often thought it would be good to die outside. The last thing to see would be the sky. I am finishing the mowing Carl didn't get to. My back is feeling it today. I know it's not the same as angina though. (I should clarify, I use a hand held string trimmer to mow with. Carl does too but his is gas powered. Mine uses batteries. I read that a steel blade mower can strike a rock, emit a spark, that can start a fire. So no to that!) Still, sore back and all, it looks like a park when done. Very pretty! But I can't mow it all. If the part away from the house I can't reach burns, then it burns.
Wait, who is your daughter? Did I know you had one? Where is she now? Apologies if you told me and I forgot. It has dawned on me that we have been corresponding for just about year now. What a year though. I am glad you are still here. But I sure didn't see it coming out the way it did. I don't know why, when Rayburn was so old and infirm. But I'm still surprised.
I subscribe to a newsletter out of Cloudcroft- because I like Cloudcroft. The latest issue had an ad for the Cloudcroft Art Workshops this summer. As it happens one of my favorite pastel artists is teaching one of them. OMG! I signed up! It is at the end of July for 5 days. I found a VRBO house that takes dogs and have rented it for the week. I'm ready right now though but still have to wait 4 months.
So there you are; life.
MK
PS. I'm also editing my photos which I got really behind on doing. So in a roundabout way, there is a trough report in the works, but it may be a little while yet until one comes out. We've had a bobcat visitor. And for the first time there was a saw-whet owl! The wolves of December and January have not been back even though the public map shows them in the vicinity. https://www.arcgis.com/apps/mapviewer/index.html?webmap=dbcc9960867948aea225fc53c50d0ed0&extent=-110.6313,32.9752,-106.5746,34.932
