The liquid morphine has been causing nausea. At my last recertification (for hospice) he'd told the MAID concoction included 15,000 mg of the stuff. If .20 ml - a minuscule amount - induced vomiting, i wondered how i was gonna keep 15,000mg down long enough to expire.
It, the MAID kit, came in this black bag. It would've been nice to have a raven and the word Nevermore on it. Dr. Hawke said he had directed them to use a blue bag.
Here's the "kit."
The coded entry releases the steel cable.
Inside is a single bottle containing a blend of morphine, phenobarbitol & something specific to stop the heart, a relatively indefatigable organ.
To obviate any possibility of trouble, we settled on rectal delivery. You'd uh thunk I'd uh gotten details, but Hawk said it's actually his preferred method. The "usual" way is to create a solution and drink it. But everyone says it tastes terrible.
I'm not planning to use it soon; just like to be prepared.
I see it's got a bit of valium in there besides the phenobarbital and morphine...quite a cocktail. Glad you are not feeling the need to imbibe it soon...What I'm wondering is, how does anybody know what it tastes like? A tiny, tiny sip?
ReplyDeleteHi there, JudithK!
DeleteDr. Hawk presides over/administers all the MAID ingestions. He said it takes a couple of minutes to take effect during which people express their opinions. He told how because of its unpleasant taste, people have asked if they had drinkt/drankt/drunkt enough. In most cases they had.
Morphine administrated rectally works well. Having dealt with a number of seniors struggling in their final hours the care staff will dole out rectal suppositories like candy. In the process of being accepting for the MAID assistance how do they know you're just not trying to deal with the neighbor's barking dog...or the neighbor who won't deal with their barking dark (asking for someone who lives next to a barking dog)?
ReplyDeleteTwo physicians have to state you have a prognosis of terminality of six months or less. I had a heck of a time getting accepted as my cardiologist was unwilling to refer me. I finally got a new primary who recognized that being WAY over the maximum dosage for the main drug that staves off a cardiac event (infarction), I was at imminent risk. He referred me to Palliative Care who referred me to hospice who sent an evaluator. The evaluator agreed with the palliative care person and the gate swung open.
DeleteAt the time, last April, I was in sad shape and straight-away bought the kit. It expires at the end of this month though Dr. Hawk said even with normal degradation the quantity would still be lethal 5 years on.
When I was accepted I was under the impression it took 2 weeks to get the kit. Dr. Hawk said he can get it in 2 days. My new hearing aids set me back $1,800.00, bringing my DISCOVER card debt to over 7k. I need to get some use out of the devices and I don't want to leave Michelle w the debt so I'm gonna hold off on replacing it.
How're you doing?
Art,
DeleteRereading, i see i didn't answer your question.
I've asked the two physicians and a number of the nurses that've come & gone and they all give the same answer: when the patient has had enough.
It seems that, at least with my team, and it seems to be true other hospice people I've talked with, that "enough" is up to the individual. And by virtue of being on hospice and eligible for MAID, there's a level of respect for the individual's decision.
Hospice, as you know, doesn't provide around the clock care. They do seem to provide a daily check-in by a nurse who can clean you up if you need it, but there's no guarantee about how long you might have to lie in it before they get there. So my sense is that enough really comes down to how much a person wants to endure. The incredible difference is in The System's acknowledgement of a person's right to decide they've had enough and that that decision isn't suicide.
I've not asked about whether or not someone on Hospice can be denied MAID. Hospice makes every effort to keep people comfortable, alleviate symptoms and obviate motivations to use MAID. Of the multitudes dying everyday, only 400+ have utilized MAID since it was made legal three years ago.
There was an article in today's New York Times about a family that had a small house, casita, behind their house which they had for guests, perhaps renters. The lead in sentence was something about a guest/tenant who wanted to stay on and die there. Of course I cannot find the article now. Perhaps it was a MAID person, perhaps not. How am I? Burned out and running out of time. Friends and acquaintances are dropping. For whatever reason, God or not, we're all subjected to the insanity of DJT and his court. The world should not be subject to his insanity. I feel like Kiefer Sutherland in '24 hours.' The timer is running in the search for happiness, accomplishment, meaning, etc. After that reference I was going to write 'what kind of name is Kiefer, anyway?' God, not DJT, gave us the internet; answered. You likely know the answer. It's of German origin meaning 'barrel maker' or 'cooper' from the middle high German word 'kuofe.'
ReplyDeleteAnd Anselm Kiefer is a German artist whose work you should see if you ever have the chance. He has perspective...which we could all use in these fraught times of our government leaders without morality.
DeleteAnd here's the article you mentioned: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/03/style/modern-love-myalgic-encephalomyelitis-chronic-fatigue-syndrome
DeleteJudithK,
DeleteI've been a fan of Anselm's since the mid-nineties. I've yet to see any in real life, only pictures. Have you?
The link to the NYT couldn't find the page, but i looked it up. I don't have a subscription so couldn't read it but it said subscribers can share 10 articles (a month). Maybe try emailing it to mfh20502000@yahoo.com
Art,
DeleteThis is in reply to a comment you made some time ago. I can't find it, but have been thinking about it. You were talking about losing friends and acquaintances and feeling as if life has passed you by.
It's early Friday and Jessica, my nurse came Weds. I asked her what can be done when someone is in your situation. She had the same reply as Reynolds; I had hoped for more and will ask her again. In the meantime....
I don't know of Kiefer Sutherland, but it sounds like the classic existential dilemma.
I suspect you relate to the woman in this article, the dyer, as you watch, stymied by circumstances.
I'm on the last pages of *A Whole New Life* by Reynolds Price and think you might find some solace in it. He's heavily steeped in christian theology, but his message of LIVE!! may resonate w you.
For myself, and maybe for you, he, Price, has yet to get to where we are - past the point of having boot-straps. He talks of several months of having horrible panic attacks caused by a drug he was on and counsels to do ANYTHING to get outside one's self. While this may be good advice for those who are young with life ahead, for those of us on the inexorable downward spiral my own impression is it's time to get into the nitty gritty. That said, I try and find stuff that is uplifting and encourages my curiosity.
I, and I suspect you too, consider "the examined life" to be worthy of ongoing scrutiny.