My hearing continues to fade. But with help from my ear trumpet I could juuuusssttt make out the cicadas last night. They like the warm nights.
The Mkt is down and took me with it this time. I'll have to wait it out.
I bought at 91.57. I'm currently down $72.96. Fortunately, I limit my betting involvement to $1,500.00. I was making $1,000.00 a week there for the last few months. Despite Trump.
I bought the lounge chair and will try it out today. I can sit for a brief spell as respite from standing -- the left hip won't tolerate weight for more than a few minutes at a time. But it's only when lying down that I'm really free of pain. The lounge chair showed up on Craigslist as if on cue.
Wearing my diaper I can ignore the urinary urgency and just pee in my pants. They'll soak up about 4 or 5 pees then gotta change 'em out. It's alot easier than carrying around a pee bottle or trying to make it to the bathroom. If I happen to be standing I pee in the yard.
Yesterday was the day after the trip to the store and those days are always a write-off. I was able to get up to goto the bathroom but went no further. It's as much a lack of energy as the hip having had to go beyond the normal call of duty.
Debbie the hospice nurse came by. She encouraged me to take more lorazapam instead of isosorbide. By doubling the loraz I was able to go 12 hours between doses of isosorbide instead of the usual 4 or 5. Her point was the angina is due more to anxiety than lack of oxygen. Next I'll try increasing the lorazapam and "meditating." That gets the heart going and often needs the isosorbide...or so I've thought.
Today my ears are clogged.. again. I use hydrogen peroxide to clean them out. I now have an alcohol soaking bowl for the ear twigs.
Basking in alcohol
I unscrew them off the hearing aid & toss 'em in. It seems to reduce the frequency of infections somewhat.
In situ
Ah, and let us not forget the left hip. Good for maybe 20 feet, it then requires 20 minutes of full length flat outness to recover. I've not worked up the chutzpah to assume the position in Trader Joe's or at the glasses buying place, but I'm confident I'll get there. I'm caring less & less about what people think. It's the cat calls that annoy though. A few poundings with the Ekrin Kestrel actually help.
I asked Debbie about when folks decide to take the MAID. She said when they get tired of dealing with it all: Remembering to change the fentanyl patch, remembering to take the murilax to counteract the constipation caused by the fentanyl; remembering to take all the other meds that keep the blood pressure down, the warts off my nose and enable me to pee.
I still think back to Justin Gorton, John & Julia's son. That guy set the bar for wanting to live. And he enjoyed eating so you know he was in his right mind. No dieting B.S. for him! I have a long way to go to match Justin's determination, but he left a pretty clear trail.
In betweeN I think about restoring Phoebe's interior. We have all the parts. I found a supplier in L.A. who's even affordable. I just need the energy to hobble out to the carport.
One step at a time man! 20' isn't so bad!
ReplyDeleteYeah, the woman who led the charge for getting rid of leg-hold traps & snares in NM is married to a guy who underwent prostate cancer treatment. It knocked out all his testosterone and he now has no -- NONE -- ZERO -- muscle mass. At 92 he's still in pretty good health but he's spent the last 20 years in a recliner cuz he doesn't have the wherewithal to get up, let alone move. I know, as Michelle tells me, it could be woise.
DeleteIt's just, I don't know, you must've gone through it at least somewhat....where you're starin' down the tunnel and damn if it ain't just a light, it's a friggin' lamp and you can make out the pleats and the knob and everything. And no amount of denial makes it any dimmer.
You just had a close call. You mustuh gotten some inkling of the mortality thang. It adds some perspective. Or, rather, it did for me.
Yep. Once I got through that first shock I decided that I have to live every day by carrying on with my plans and not looking around every corner for "the light". When it ends, it ends. There's an old Irish toast that goes "may you die before you run out of dreams". In my case I change out "dreams" for "projects" and keep on plugging away.
ReplyDeleteI'll repeat what Greg said. Twenty feet isn't so bad. Justin would have smiled a mile wide if he could have walked twenty feet. Focus on the things that make you happy, not the things that you've lost. During Justin's last days, he ordered UberEats delivered to his hospital room and was still buying video games for his hand-held Nintendo. You only live once, and none of us is getting out alive.
ReplyDeleteThank you both, Greg and John. I usually do pretty well at looking ahead, but the psilocybin had a bad effect & I'm still trying to pull out of it. I've been wanting to try counteracting it with some LSD, but the "set & setting" haven't come together yet. In the meantime, all the parts for re-doing Phoebe's interior have arrived. I just need to find a little more get up & go.
ReplyDeleteWhile you're at it keep an eye out for some of mine. Sometimes a little of my get up and go gets up and goes without me.
ReplyDeleteGreg, I was actually hoping you might show up and help me w Phoebe. But it's unpleasantly hot and the town is generally unpleasant anyway. I was shocked & amazed that John came through. Really.....I think most people -- with any sense-- avoid it.
DeleteCities in general suck, but most of them have some little redeeming bit. We used to live in the heart of Houston because of the short commute to work. What made it tolerable was that we lived smack in the middle of the Montrose area, which back in those days was the gay enclave. I guess John stopped by because you are the redeeming bit of Albuquerque.
ReplyDelete1) Regarding hearing aids: I've had Pronak, Oticon and some other professional brand. Pronak was the best. My current Oticon devices fail when I sweat. All the OTC devices are, for the most part, amplifiers without customization options. Despite Tim Cook kissing Trump's (diapered) ass I'm trying the AirPod Pro 2 devices. They provide modification via a hearing test and several modes which somewhat allow you to hear what you wish. 2) Regarding diapers: You may want to reach out to King Orange Blob who relishes showing MAGA hats and other trivia in the White House Orange Blob Gift Shop. Perhaps MAGA diapers could be a thing. 3) Regarding the market: I'm still suffering from my 2022/2023 foray into ROKU but losses are erased upon death. The market is up but for no reason. I pulled some money out a few months when it was down assuming it was heading for depths like no one has ever seen before, ha. But...the economy is a disaster. Making money in the market will increasingly be a challenge. 4) The device: I did have to look that up and thinking about percussive muscle therapy. 5) General: Twenty feet is a lot more than none. Rejoice as one can. The later post was great. Relish the gift. I'm currently fucking burned out and regretfully reflecting on paths taken/missed. Having had options, fulfilled or not is quite the deal because 'next' is likely nothing or some sort of cheap, dirty motel with no ice, free breakfast or available escorts.
ReplyDeleteArt,
DeleteYou must've stood too close to a reactor or sumpin.' Your comments now have to be certified as "not spam" before they'll appear. Fortunately, I check behind the curtain and noticed, but that's why it took a while for it to appear.
I test-drove a couple of pairs of Oticons but had/have not heard of Pronak. Regardless, Ivounted myself lucky when EarCentric showed up for $200/pair. This urban environ is anathema and I am grateful for my deafness. Prior to it, I was wearing super earplugs augmented with shooting muffs. Life is much more pleasant now that I'm almost deaf. The EarCentrics are adequate for conversation and the rest of the time I have them off.
A friend gifted me with a set of Jabra Evolve 75 bluetooth headphones ($350.00). They are phenomenal and afford me tremendous pleasure. Though I suspect I am missing alot, their quality still enables me to devolve into a blubbering mass at the Prelude to Der Meistersinger.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do to resolve the lack of physical intimacy issue. I tried placing an ad on Craigslist in the Community section under Activities Partners. I offered to practice Sky Dancing Tantra with anf females that might be interested in practice the PC Pump (similar to kegels) and/or Opening the Inner Flute (pelvic chakra energy heightening) but the ad disappeared after one day. Things are getting rough.
Art,
DeleteI looked at the Airpods 2 and they look enticing. Do you have anything to report yet? I can get 'em from The Martz & take 'em back if they don't satisfy, but the truth is I don't have the $250.00. Maybe if you say they're better than sliced bread I'll spring for 'em. I await your evaluation.
The left leg has been giving trouble for years. April, my most recent masseuse, would pound on it which gave me the idea. It is almost as good and in some ways better. April, INSISTED that greater percussive intensity equalled results. Empirically, I found just the opposite. Although she complied, her quiet Asiatic seething had me suppressing my laughter so much I had a hard time lying still for the treatment. No such problems with the kestrel and it delivers almost equal results (and cheaper in long run!!)
ReplyDelete