Though I consider myself one of the luckiest in love, I was never able to make any money.
From Trader Joe's
Lying here hour after hour, day after day, I realized I had all the time in the world to study. I lost $40,000 in the market crash of 2008. I was day-trading and doing okay, not great, but was trading with over $100,000 which, for me, was a significant amount.
The crash left me with a bit of an aversion, but at the start of the year things just looked too good. My curiosity wouldn't leave me alone; I blame the years of associating with cats.
Hoping to get rich, and soon too, I opened a Webull account with $1,500.00. Now, 3 1/2 months later, you can see the bottom line. It's kept me entertained.
Something changed last week. It had a similar feel to when years ago I suddenly realized I was an art dealer. It had taken three years of continuous study including a number of classes at the University in art history and art theory and a tremendous amount of networking and information gathering. But that day I stepped out onto my porch, straightened my tie, shot my cuffs and sauntered off to the gallery knowing I knew what I was doing. Or, at least I had a better idea of it than I'd had before.
A similar change occurred a few days ago with regard to the stock trading. It was subtle and had to do with the feeling that losing no longer felt inexorable. Up until then I'd approached each trade with a sense of dread....almost resignation. Nevermore.
I don't know what to attribute it to. I did stop eating red meat which did seem to reduce the incidence of twinges in my chest, but this is grander...it has to do with my identity. Instead of just being a dying lump on hospice, I'm now a source of income; there's the potential to do good things. I might start a foundation. But the main thing is I now have a sense of optimism; a feeling that things, rather than going down, could go either way.
Today's trading, or rather "putting on the positions," as it's called, portends some positive results. I'm still in the kiddie pool in terms of numbers of shares. I don't have a lot of money to lose. But what we're looking at here includes the recovery of the $150 lost over the previous two weeks. I'm pleased. And it's only Tuesday; there're three more days of trading.
A dear friend of my age spend part of their day, every day, becoming emotional over the life they did not live, what 'could have been' and what they've lost interjecting "with what time I have left." Personally I'm focused on finding something positive each day, as difficult at that may be with age, challenges, conflicts and of course the fucking idiot Trump. Three times the market has hurt me, the first in 2002 when I lost a large tuition saving, the second in 2008 and lastly in 2020 when I first made a shitload on ROKU and then later, a bit greedy lost 1.5 shitloads. Trump economics has been painful but several trades in this time that be nothing but chaos gives one a small sense of control. 'Art dealer' is worthy of envy. Like with many pursuits 1) be comfortable with those things you're not very good at, and 2) be completely aware and responsive to what you don't know. Everything will change, market wise, when the fucking nuts Trump chokes on his final burned steak. 'Positivity in Hospice' would be a good guidebook for those who follow you. "Hospice for Dummies"
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