First Week of Morphine

I'm ambivalent about my dimensionality. On the one hand, I'm grateful that the body still works. I had a conversation with a friend the other day in which she told of someone who can no longer shit.

On the other hand, the view in the mirror is shocking. Another friend who saw me in the blog about getting on hospice said, "You don't look so good."

When I discovered that a friend and his son both enjoy swimming, I thought to use their enthusiasm to incentivize myself. The pool is in the nearby high school and has lap swim from 6 - 8 weekdays. The parking lot is big and I had to rest awhile once I got inside. 

The gratitude enables me to go forth in public, but just barely. Swim trunks are pushing it. But I keep in mind the two guys in Tucson who were nearly twice my size. They're still my role models.

I'd barely swim swam swummed 20 feet when the angina hit. I walked the rest of the way across and rested for ten minutes before heading back.

I had to ask Brett to bring me a sublingual nitroglycerin in order to muster the energy to get out. I still needed his help.

I spent the rest of the evening watching him and his son enjoy themselves.

It took four "rests" to get to the car. At home I had to take the morphine every two hours instead of every three. By morning I was starting to run low. At 11 a.m. I called the hospice nurse about getting more. A doctor has to authorize the prescription and it can be awhile before they become available.

Around 6 o'clock this evening the hospice supervisor called to let me know they were doing all they could to encourage the Walgreens pharmacist to fill the prescription, but Plan B was to take me inpatient if they didn't get it done.

Michelle called a few minutes ago to let me know that the pharmacist said it would be ready in about 15 minutes. I've heard good things about the inpatient facility; there are 10 beds and the Supervisor said there're only about five people in it this evening. The background noise gave the impression she was at home. She sounded as relieved as I felt. 

Next time!