I have to take my time turning over .... to get to meds ... as turning causes nausea.
The sleep apnea causes angina so they gave me an oxygen concentrator (oxygenator) with a mask. At some point during the night I took it off - the mask gets sweaty - and with the apnea having full rein, the angina builds. It affects my chest, shoulders and biceps and makes turning over painful.
One might think I'm complaining; certainly that's what it sounds like. But I'm not. I chose this route over the SUPPOSEDLY easier route of $1,000,000.00 open heart bypass surgery. Yes, MEDICARE would've paid 80%. Any fool can see that that leaves you with a debt of over $20,000.
A year and a half after coming to Albuquerque I still owe $4,000.00 on my Visa for repairs to Phoebe. I hope to pay it off by this October, but my commitment to that means that we do without many other things. (my monthly visit with an escort being of chief concern.)
Actually, I'm really grateful I haven't had to undergo the pain of having my sternum sawed open, my rib cage spread apart by a tool similar to the Jaws of Life, undergone urinary catheterization with a #16 catheter.
Lemme tell yuh 'bout my visit with a urologist about my urinary difficulties; she suggested catheterization. The deal involved a "training" (by a male tech 🤨) on how to insert the catheter. The tech brought a number 16 and showed how to lubricate it and insert it into the opening of my penis. I got it in about an eigth of an inch before the pain made me stop. It took several days to recover from that. My guess is I'd *never* recover from the full monty.
It's at LEAST 6 inches from the tip of my penis to my bladder. The catheter is bendy but all things being relative, it's like threading a worm on a hook. My guess is the leading tip doesn't stay lubed much beyond an inch. This means withdrawing it and re-lubing. Think about it.
Maybe you haven't been to the doctor lately, but I've not gotten the impression they're gonna take the time to withdraw re-lube, reinsert, withdraw, re-lube, reinsert.
The doctor said the number 16 was what they use -- standard issue. She allowed as how #14s exist (smaller) but they didn't have one.
I looked online and urinary catheters go down to a #8 for children.
Standard protocol disregards the pain induced and any post pain is completely ignored....never mentioned.
Five years after my trans-radial catheterization where they went in through my right wrist to try and stent my arteries the pain is STILL such that I cannot open a jar.
I've made it to the bathroom w/o pooping in my pants. As much as I don't enjoy running to the komode -- sometimes every 20 minutes -- I'm *still* happy with my decision. (I take anti-constipation to counter the side-effects of the fentanyl.)
This is a pretty good likeness. It's what happens when the only exercise is the hike to the bathroom or the refrigerator. I shave, though. My escorts have said they don't appreciate having a brillo pad between their legs.
Yeah, that doesn't sound fun. Justin used to walk that high wire between constipation and, um, the opposite of that. He used an external catheter at night. It's like a condom but there's a hose at the end of it leading to a urinal bag that hangs on the bed. It works by gravity but you can't move around in a way that defeats gravity.
ReplyDeleteIf the orange chickenshit-in-charge can go the catheter route you most certainly can. Melania stripping down and straightening things might add invasive pleasure.
ReplyDeleteArt! Yer spozed tuh be on my side...supporting my decision to ride it out sans surgery.
DeleteWhat's this about him enduring getting cathed?
Melania's breasts are too big. I'm of the group that says anything over a handfull is waste.
1) DJT was absent for a few days a week or two ago w/o explanation. When re appearing photos clearing identified a bag on his leg. 2) A good friend of mine self-catheterized (sp?) according to the clock, at least two or three times daily at work. The details are lost but undoubtedly the lubricant can be de-sensitizing. 3) Your sharing of this journey, which my DR would describe as 'part of the downhill slide,' is appreciated. 4) Now I"m going to look at YouTube searching for 'easy self-catheterization' or 'if you've always wanted a catheter...' 5) I'm on the sidelines. You are on the journey. Not knowing what's...as they say 'on the other side' I'm not cheering, just sitting quietly in the stands. Were is football, a.k.a. soccer I'd be a rapid fan.
DeleteThanks for bringing me up to date, Anon.
DeleteWe watched a steel catheterization at a BDSM gathering Kristen and I attended several years ago. It was a VERY slow process.
Since few people leave comments it's hard to know how many are reading this, but my main interest is in keeping track for myself. Years ago I would've said if I had the option I would've checked out. And in fact, when I asked the hospice physician how people decide when to use MAID, he said, "when they get tired of it." I'm beginning to understand what he meant.
But my role in my relationships is still active and we are, as people, continuing to grow. Given my minimal amount of mobility I'd have not thought it possible, but there it is. So I go on....we go on. We'll see for how much longer. And there's the constant possibility my heart will make the decision. And it's that that motivates me to pull harder at the oars of navel-gazing to see what this process has to offer. Thanks for stopping by.
As ymentioned before in several posts, Blogger is more or less a dead application, perhaps with no one at Google working on it all all, but I do like it and still add to a few blogs on this host periodically. If you see 'Anonymous' it's likely 'Art.' Blogger fails to remember me. 'Art' is not really my name. At an early age, pre-teen, I exhibited considerable creativity. Lacking family with any education, single parent, etc., etc., I lost my way and ended working as creatively as one could in the corporate IT world. Overall, other than the money and periodic recognition that path taken was a waste. Leaving the corporate world a decade I've attempted to re-nourish that creativity, wishing 'art' of many forms to have been the path taken. It's a bit of an 'almost too late' turn in direction. My hands shake a bit when painting, my thoughts wander while writing and I lack the ability to be awake as much as I wish, and remaining life obligations are potholes that shake and slow the Art-Uber ride. Your posts remain a motivation. Of course the image of her on the pool table is a reminder that not all is too late.
DeleteArt,
DeleteI began raging against this culture around age 16. After spending my toddler years in Japan and youth in Germany, coming to Nashville just before Martin Luther King and Malcolm X lit it on fire was culture shock to the hilt.
I've always thought of myself as a socialist capitalist. I got enough exposure to good wine and superb women to know that money can come in handy but just up to a point. After that, the excess really doesn't make much difference.
It's been hard for me to understand why people feel the need to accumulate so much beyond what they can ever possibly use.
Kristen arrived this evening. We'll have tomorrow together before she goes to Abiquiu to attend a week-long painting workshop I'll mention your appreciation of the pool table photo. That was a wonderful evening for both of us.
We too look for ways to sustain the current of creativity. Again, it seems particularly challenging in this culture. Kristen got to see an exhibit of David Hockney's works in Palm Springs a couple months ago. The paintings were all done on an iPad and then printed really large. She got an iPad and has been having a great time with it. The two programs she really likes are called procreate and Sketch Pad. The device is amazing. She got the larger one.
As for writing, I've started dictating my emails and then copying them in the MS WORD.
I overdid it a couple weeks ago and I've been bogged down in recovery. I hope to get some stamina up in the next few days and return to several projects. I don't think it's ever too late though. I'm amazed at what I'm gleaning these last months. You sound as if you're having somewhat of a similar experience, no?
Art!
DeleteYou're not being faaaAAAAIIIIIIRRRR!!!! You've been "playing the coquette" for years...not letting me (us, Kristen is curious too) see your writing. NOW you say you paint too!!! And Art isn't your name but a poignant metaphor!!! Geezuss Kryst, man!!! Time ist running out!! Ven are Sie going to ante up (dammit!)? If you share some and gimme an address I'll send addtl photos of Kristen! (She'll be flattered)
Can you not just use a canula rather than the mask for the O2? Or does the apnea make that not effective.....
ReplyDeleteJudith,
DeleteDespite getting sweaty, I like the way the mask fits over my face. I read about cannulas and it said that overtime they cause irritation to the nostrils. The mask doesn't have that problem.
What fascinates me are the many little problems associated with equipment and care. They dole out these machines with such impunity you get the idea it's all just cake. Then the little problems emerge. The "discoveries" have played a significant role in my decision not to have bypass surgery. If there're so many unknowns or things they're not telling me about oxygenators, constipation from fentanyl, diarrhea from Metamucil to counteract the constipation....one can only imagine the horrors that could arise from bypass surgery.
Recently, a friend told of his friend who for 40 years was a nurse. He, the nurse, has four stents, but has refused to have his sternum cut open. What does that tell you?